of course. lets lasso hookers.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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