Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
