i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
