There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize