i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need a beard to bite.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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