were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
