Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
