so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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