shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
