There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
