I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
