It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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