Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize