the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
