"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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