Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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