Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
