Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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