Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
