She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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