dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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