Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
