I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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