i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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