Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
