Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
