Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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