I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
