sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
