Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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