Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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