Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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