ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
