wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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