i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Your penis caused this!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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