True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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