I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
