I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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