The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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