theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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