dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
