am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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