Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
