dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
