I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
