I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
