they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
