I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
