I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
