I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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