my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
