He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
