Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
