He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
