What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize