his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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