if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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