Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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