the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
