take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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