My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
