forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize